I just want to
clarify something. I am doing this 3-piece endorsement as a private citizen,
not as Pastor of St. Stephen, or as a representative of the ELCA.
You might remember
back in 2014 an
organization attempted to bribe me to endorse candidates from the pulpit.
And again, this year, representatives from one of the two main political
parties in Middlesex (it’s local folk so I don’t really want to get anyone in
trouble) have encouraged me to cede my pulpit to local candidates, which I have
not done… for all the same reasons I didn’t endorse people from the pulpit in
2014.
So again, this
endorsement is not my church’s position, it is mine alone. So, onward and
upward.
Pedro for Hillary
I am endorsing
Hillary Clinton because of Pedro. Not because Pedro, and Latinos everywhere are less likely to be demonized under a Clinton administration than under a
Trump administration, though
that is potentially a thing.
No, I’m endorsing
Hillary because Donald is promising to “make
our wildest dreams come true,” but won’t deliver. He’ll promise anything to
anyone.
Trump promised me
healthcare, but not really
For example, I
had such a hard time figuring out what Trump will do with healthcare,
because he’d promised the socialists a socialist policy, the libertarians the
complete erasure of government involvement in healthcare, and then he had his
actual policy.
On healthcare he
promised to make all of our wildest
dreams come true.
Trump is offering Memberberrys
I mean, think
about his campaign slogan itself “Make
American Great Again.” A great dream, especially if you don’t think America
is currently great, but you remember the good old days when everything was
coming up roses. But the question is, how do you even do that? Short of
inventing a time machine you can never go back, “You never step into the same
river twice.” It’s like the “memberberrys”
that become sour grape in South Park. You can’t go back and trying will be
pretty horrible.
But let’s look at
a few more of Trump’s “Make
America Great Again” promises.
He makes all kinds of
promises, most pretty out there and unworkable
His biggest
campaign promise, the Wall, will not
actual be a wall, despite him describing
it growing in size and so on. And if he builds the wall he’ll
have to capitulate to Democrats on all kinds of issues (hey, maybe that’s
how I’ll keep my health coverage).
He also promises
that he has a secret
plan to defeat ISIS, America is going to take
away ISIS’s oil, General
Patton is going to lead the Army again, we’re going to use
nuclear weapons again, China
will invade North Korea for us so they’ll give up their nuclear weapons,
and our
alliances across the globe are going to be changed into a protection
racket.
On top of that,
we’re going to ban
all Muslims, build
the Wall, renegotiate
ALL our trade deals, force American
companies to work only in America, and everyone is going to say Merry
Christmas instead of Happy Holidays!
It is a compelling vision and story
I really do see
some of the appeal of this dream. ISIS gets a good kick in the teeth, no more
stalemate wars like Iraq and Afghanistan, money flows back to the US of A to
fix our potholes and pay for our debt, gas is back down to under a dollar a
gallon because we're taking it from Terrorists, people will receive good money for good work again. (Clearly I also recognize
a land war in Asia, kneecapping NATO, nukes going off, citizens being denied
entry into the country based on their religion, etc, would be nightmarish).
I get why people
are buying into this dream, they distrust elites.
“Look,” they say,
“during World War 2 a bunch of non-elite farm boys got together and defeated
Nazi Germany and Imperial Japan, then came home and created the best job market
ever known, so,” they could rightly ask, “why can’t these elite folk do a few
simple tasks like defeat a pocket of religious radicals and revive the
manufacturing sector?” Then they’d go on, “Well, if they aren’t doing these
things, it must be that they’re corrupt, that they are benefiting from our
suffering!”
And along comes
Trump, “You’re right, Crooked Hillary and Elitist Obama are getting rich at
your expense! I myself have soaked in this corruption, but now I’ll do the
relatively simple task of fixing everything. It’s actually really easy, I’ll
have it done by next week.”
I want to believe
it myself. I want all my dreams to come
true!
But having concrete
policies made for the real world is important
But I also
recognize we live in the world as it is, not as we wish it to be. I believe Hillary Clinton’s plans for
America will make America safer,
more prosperous, more united, and more dominant on the world stage than
would the empty slogan, “Make
America Great Again.”
So, because Hillary
has policies and Trump has a slogan please give Hillary Clinton a second look.
Up
next Cartman.
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