Values can be understood as both a boundary and as a standard. As a
boundary they echo the singer Meatloaf, “but I won’t do that.” As a standard
they point us to our ideals and what we consider to be worthwhile. They
determine both ends and means—I desire this value, but my values stop me from
pursuing it in this way. I value peace over war, but that same value precludes
me from resisting war through violent means.
So, one way to answer the question, “What do I value?” is to look
around and notice your boundaries. Think back on your life and notice those times
when you’ve clearly said no to something, or put boundaries up; think through
why you did that, what was at stake, what did you value about yourself enough
that doing that thing would have violated your integrity?
An exercise to help you figure out the other side of values—what you
consider to be of great worth—is to pretend today is both the beginning and end
of Daylight Savings Time. Today is a day where you either gain or lose an hour
in your day. What would you do with an extra hour? Alternatively, what’s the
one thing you’d preserve in your day if you lost an hour; what would you miss
in your day if you lost an hour? Those things are probably pretty important to
you!
Alternatively, if you aren’t as whimsical as me, inventing days that
don’t actually exist and such, there is a more concrete way to get at this same
question. Pay attention to your use of time, “keep track of your time for at
least two weeks,”[1]
and see to what you devote the majority of your time. As you look around at
your world, keep those in mind, they hold great meaning to you.
What we value, our boundaries and our ideals, help us to know ourselves,
set goals, and find our place in the larger world.
[1] Willard, Time Management for the Christian Leader: Or How to Squeeze Blood from a Turnip, page 25.
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